It's official, and we can
finally spread the word that by the end of November there will be 3 Cabes in France! Baby Cabe is due November 18, 2010. Matthew and I have been going crazy keeping this secret. It has been hard being so far from family and trying to decide how to tell our family and close friends. My sister was the first person we told way back at week 6 after our first doctor's appointment. We also told Matthew's brother at the beginning of April. Around week 7, I broke down and told my friend Jen, who also lives here in France. Jen and Freddie have 3 kids, and I was dying to have someone I could talk to about all the crazy things that were happening to my body, things which, by the way, nobody ever talks about!
During our long weekend in Normandy we also told Bertrand, Claire, Mark, and Silke, knowing that it would be hard to explain the reason I wouldn't drink wine with dinner, and that I was extremely tired, and that I needed to pee at least once an hour.
Now I am 14 weeks, and a lot has been happening that I haven't been able to blog about until now!
When Matthew and I first suspected I was pregnant, we were faced with going to the pharmacy and trying to figure out what a pregnancy test was called. After guessing incorrectly, and some gesturing at my stomach, the woman figured out what we were asking for. She instructed me to wait until the morning to take the test. That was torture! I didn't sleep at all, and by 5am I couldn't wait any longer. The instructions were all in French, and this was the first pregnancy test I had ever taken. After taking the test, it immediately came back positive, but the instructions (I thought) said that could happen, but to wait the 3 minutes before reading the "real" results. Three minutes later. Still positive. I admit, I was in shock. I crawled back in bed and Matthew, who was very much still asleep, mumbled something asking if I was ok. My reply, "I don't know, but I am pregnant." That woke him up! For the next 2 hours we talked about what this would mean for our lives. We had spent the last year and a half explaining to everyone that asked (and believe me, everyone asks!) why we were
not having children in France. We had a long list of reasons: We were too far from family and friends...this would be the first grandchild on both sides and we didn't want to do that to our Moms...our apartment is too small, there is no room for a baby...This would be my first pregnancy and I wanted a doctor I could communicate with completely, not just finding a doctor who spoke
some English, but have to constantly worry about language mis-communications/misunderstandings...and the list went on and on...
I spent a lot of time searching online for a doctor at the local hospital who spoke English. I found the name of an OBGYN that had published several of her research papers in English. I was able to find an email address and sent her an email explaining my situation. She quickly responded that she specialized in only one area, but had referred me to a colleague and she assured me that he also spoke English. He contacted me (in English!) the following day with several appointments he had already set up for me. He was even kind enough to schedule the initial consultation at 6:00pm so that Matthew could come without having to take off from work. Having never done this before, I had no idea what to expect. It was very interesting, given the fact that here they don't do the blood work. He wrote me a prescription to go have my blood work done at a lab. (Normally, I could have gone to the lab that is in the hospital, but the week of my appointment was the first week this new hospital was open. The lab had not finished moving from the old hospital yet.) He asked me some questions, gave us a tour of the brand new maternity ward, and decided to take us to find an open room with an ultrasound machine to see if he could find the baby. I was not at all expecting to get to do that! We were able to see the baby (well, the little blob that the doctor assured us was a baby) and hear the heartbeat. Amazing! Up to that point, I was still very much doubting that I was actually pregnant.
6 week Ultrasound: March 30, 2010
Unfortunately, my next 2 appointments (my first meeting with the midwife, and the 12 week ultrasound) were scheduled when Matthew was in the US for work. My doctor assigned me to this midwife because he said she had worked with English speaking patients before. Perfect! Right? Wrong. The first words out of her mouth were that she didn't speak English. I thought perhaps she was just being modest. Nope. I could understand most of her French, except (and this is a big
except) all of the medical/pregnancy terminology. These are words that are not taught at the Michelin Language Lab! She did give me the name of another midwife that works at a different hospital who does speak English. She suggested I do all of my "classes" with this other midwife, and then she would continue to do all of my check-up appointments. I was a little confused at exactly what the role of the midwife was (in the US, I always thought a woman decided if she wanted a doctor OR midwife to deliver the baby, ie hospital or home birth). In France, you are assigned both- and the midwife works at the hospital. Apparently, I will see the doctor for the big milestone check-ups and ultrasounds. But for all of the other check-up appointments in between, I will see this midwife. However, unless this baby decides to come on a Tuesday (the only day she works in the maternity ward), then I will have whatever midwife is on duty. From my understanding, it will be my doctor though (regardless of the day) that will actually deliver the baby.
The day after my midwife appointment, was the big 12 week ultrasound appointment. Jen generously offered to come with me, and promised to "stay by my head". Jen and I checked in at the hospital, took the elevator upstairs, took several wrong turns, and were finally escorted by another doctor to the right waiting room. Remember at the last ultrasound, the baby was just this tiny little blob. I was having memories of that
Friends episode where Rachel couldn't see the baby, and I was a little worried that I too would fail this first "test" of motherhood. No worries though! As soon as the ultrasound started, I was amazed at how much the baby had changed! It actually looked like a baby! Granted the head was almost half of the length of the body, but it was definitely a baby! You could even count all of the little fingers and see the eyes and nose. The 3D views were really amazing! The ultrasound was a long process, since the doctor was trying to get a good angle to take a measurement that is used for an early indicator for Down Syndrome. As much as we could see the baby kicking his/her legs and moving his/her arms, he/she would not turn. The doctor was jabbing and shaking my stomach, having me cough, and finally asking me to get up and jump up and down, everything to try to get the baby to roll over. Finally he/she moved enough to take the measurement, and the torture to my abdomen was finished.
12 Week Ultrasound: May 4, 2010
Luckily, Matthew traveled for work back to SC at the beginning of May. He was able to spend a weekend with his family, so even though I was almost 13 weeks by then, we decided to wait so he could tell them in person. My Mom had already planned a trip to visit us the last two weeks in May, so Matthew made his parents swear to secrecy so that we could tell my Mom in person once she got here. The time Matthew spent with his family was the weekend between his mom's birthday and Mother's Day. We wrapped up a baby's one-sie, a pacifier, and a card with pictures of us holding the positive pregnancy test and the first ultrasound. Matthew was able to capture his mom's reaction on video (I am on video Skype, which is why you can hear my voice in the background). Annette's facial expressions were priceless! (Sorry, Annette, I just had to share this video, it is too funny! Love you!!!) :)
And, then, FINALLY, my mom flew to France. She arrived in Lyon on Friday and spent the weekend with her brother, Bob, and his wife, Colette. I took a train over Sunday night and was practically bursting to tell her our news. I asked her to come to the back room and told her Matthew and I had a Mother's Day present for her. I justified me having the camera out by telling her that I told Matthew since I couldn't wait to give her the gift until we were all together, that at least I would take a picture of her opening it. We gave her the same card as we had given Matthew's mom, which had pictures inside of us holding the positive pregnancy test and pictures from the first ultrasound. I should have learned from Annette's reaction to make sure Mom had her glasses before giving her the card, but I was so excited that I forgot (hence the fact that it appears Mom doesn't know how to read, when really she just can't see the words!) :)
Tuesday afternoon, Mom and I took the train back to Clermont and I called Dad to let him know. I think he was in shock and he told me that he wasn't old enough to be a grandfather. And when he told me to slap Matthew on the back, I am not quite sure if that was supposed to be a congratulatory pat on the back, or a smack for "knocking-up" his little girl. :)
Whew! I am so glad that I don't have to worry about keeping this a secret anymore...especially since my pants are getting tighter and tighter and "hiding" this baby wouldn't be an option much longer!
