100 Days!

Today, Jacob is 100 days old.  In some ways, it seems like just yesterday that he was born.  But other days, November 24 feels like a million years ago.  Either way, Matthew and I can't imagine our lives without him!

To start this post off, I want to say that Jacob is a sweet, smiling, cooing baby.  But, it hasn't been all smiles the last 100 days.  It is hard for me to admit that.  As a new mom, I had this idea of what life would be like after Jacob would be born.  I was prepared for the sleepless nights and the fatigue. I had even prepared myself for the hormonal roller coaster after giving birth.  Even for the possibility of having postpartum depression.  I had read all the books, and was prepared with a plan for getting Jacob on a feeding and sleeping schedule.  I was not prepared for all of the crying.

Jacob cried.  A lot.  It all started on Day 13.  I will remember that day forever.  He cried for 6 hours.  Thank goodness my mom was still here at that point so we could all take breaks.  He was inconsolable.  The only way to stop him from screaming hysterically was to walk/sway/bounce/etc with him.  But even then, if you stopped moving for a second, he would start up again.  I was frantically searching online, and everything came back 'colic'.  The worst part was, there was absolutely nothing I could do to help him.  The only advice was to take breaks and keep in mind that it is usually over by 3 months.  When you are at Day 13 and the experts are saying you will be dealing with this until at least Day 60... Ahhh! At this point I started crying and cursing France.  Not that it was France's fault, but the idea of my mom leaving and Matthew and I being here alone to deal with a baby that cried for hours on end, it was more than I could handle. 

Luckily, Day 13 was the worst of it.  He continued to cry everyday, but not for 6 hours.  Unfortunately for Matthew, Jacob's worst time of day started about 6:00 pm every night.  Just in time for Matthew to get home from work.  I was usually pretty worn out by the time he got home, so as soon as he walked in the door, a screaming baby was thrust into his arms.  Don't get me wrong, we had some good days, but those were the exception.  And we did have good moments during the day where I would see glimpses of my smiling, happy baby.  But a lot of the time Jacob just seemed miserable.  He was fatigued, he had gas pains, and was just generally unhappy.  What a horrible feeling as a mom to not be able to console your baby.  Some days, I don't know who cried more, Jacob or me. 

Around 8 weeks we finally went to see our pediatrician to see if there was anything she could do to help us.  In addition, Jacob had started spitting up a lot.   She sent us for an ultrasound of his stomach to rule out something called pyloric stenosis.  That was ruled out, but the ultrasound did show all of the gas in his tummy.  I had already changed my diet drastically weeks before to cut out the top foods known to cause gas for breastfed babies, but it hadn't helped.  The pediatrician prescribed some medicine for reflux, but it definitely didn't made a huge difference.

As we neared the 3 month mark, we could see definite improvements with Jacob.  He and I had finally started getting into a nap routine, and when he napped well, it made a huge difference in his disposition.  Matthew and I prayed that we were finally turning the 'colic corner'.  The reflux medicine also finally started making a difference, which helped with his night time sleeping.  A well rested baby makes all the difference!

Now we are at Day 100.  I can honestly say, we have a different baby than we had at Day 13!  He smiles and coos all the time.  He loves to 'talk' to us.  He has so many cute facial expressions, and he seems to be a little shy.  He will giggle at us, but then lower his head and just look up at you with his eyes, or he will hide his face behind his chubby little fists.  My goodness, he is so cute!  (I know all moms must think their babies are cute, but I'm just saying- my baby is positively adorable!)  Matthew and I have always loved Jacob, but we are really enjoying him now.  He is a joy to be around, and so much fun to play with.  We sometimes just want to pinch ourselves when we are out and Jacob is sitting quietly playing in his stroller.  A month ago, if he woke up while we were at the store, it was a race to get the pacifier back in, and whoever was pushing him would have to take off at a faster pace around the store to get that rolling motion back, in order to get him to sleep.  It is no wonder that I dropped all but 5 of my pregnancy pounds within the first 8 weeks since I was constantly walking and bouncing with Jacob.  Matthew and I started using it as a workout routine and would do dips and lunges around the living room.  (That is fine at 4 in the afternoon.  Having to bounce and sway for hours on end at 3 in the morning is a different story!)

To all those soon-to-be moms out there, I don't want to scare you, but I do want to warn you.  I feel like no one really talks about how much babies cry.  Everyone I knew seemed to have such 'easy' babies.  Constantly posting smiling pictures of their babies on facebook and making comments about how happy and sweet their newborns were.  It wasn't until I would post some comment on facebook or mention something to friends that everyone seemed to respond that their babies did in fact cry a lot too, and that the first three months are really, really hard.  Knowing I wasn't the only one made me feel so much better.  I can't tell you how much time I spent on my phone at 3:00am, googling 'why does my newborn cry so much?', only to find message board after message board with hundreds of moms describing the same situation. It was still hard trying to accept the mind set of just 'getting through' the first three months.  I wanted to enjoy every moment.  Everyone tells you how quickly the time goes by, and I didn't want to wish away the newborn stage.   I just had to drastically change my expectations of what I could get done in a day.  My only priority was keeping him calm and getting him to sleep as much as possible.  Housework, sleep, and daily showers went out the window!

I think the most important thing is to have a good support system around you.  Especially if you have a colicky baby.  I had so many friends here offer to help, but I think pride got in my way.  And, for me, it is harder to call on friends than family to help.  I finally gave in and accepted an offer from my friend Jen to come help.  Bless her sweet heart, she helped me clean my apartment while Jacob napped.  When he woke up, she took care of him so I could keep cleaning.  What a blessing a clean apartment is! 

So, all of my friends that are pregnant right now (and there are a lot of you out there!), please, please, please don't hesitate to call me if you need a hand.  There is no shame in asking for help (it took me awhile to figure that out).  And I just told you how much my baby cried, so I have no problem holding a screaming newborn.  I have an arsenal of baby-soothing techniques that I have accumulated over the last 100 days! 

Right now, I am going to cuddle with my sweet, 100 day old, baby boy, and enjoy all the smiles and giggles he has for me.